Saturday, April 30, 2011

#60 (3-4): And the Children Shall Lead

THE PLOT

Answering a distress call, the Enterprise arrives at a Federation outpost on Triacus, only to find that all the adults have committed mass suicide. Their children have survived, but appear to be entirely unaware of their parents' deaths - even with the bodies lying right in front of them! McCoy takes the children back to the ship, while Kirk and Spock determine (with no apparent evidence) that this had to be the work of a malevolent alien force.

On the ship, the children fuss about ice cream for a while, then chant a nursery rhyme to summon up Gorgan (Melvin Belli), the alien force who has granted them bizarre powers. The children use these powers to take over Enterprise, and steer her toward a world where Gorgan will be able to spread his influence across a population of millions. Now Kirk must regain control of his ship at any cost - even the children's lives!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Ham: Some Grade A swine in this episode. There's a small warmup when Kirk investigates the cave on the planet, prompting Shatner to dance around a little as if he really needs to go to the bathroom. This appears to only be a momentary lapse, with Shatner's performance soon returning to its normal standard. Then, around the midpoint of the episode, Kirk is overcome by the belief that he's lost command. Shatner summons up his inner boar, clutching himself and swaying around with such sheer godawful hammery that one expects him to start oinking on camera. He caps off the episode by delivering a speech about the ugliness of evil while Melvin Belli rants impotently a few feet away. None of this is a complaint, by the way. Shatner's way over-the-top performance is the only thing in the episode that generates any entertainment value at all.

Spock: Supportive of Kirk, as ever. Not completely immune to the effects of the children's powers, but far more resistant than the rest of the crew. His brutally pragmatic streak shows itself again when he points out to Kirk that, misled or not, the children are doing evil, leading Kirk to the realization that if they cannot get the children to realize this, then they will have to kill them.

Dr. McCoy: About as useful as a single, limp noodle. Warns Kirk against questioning the children, then vanishes for virtually the entire length of the episode. When he does return in the final scene, DeForest Kelly appears vaguely embarrassed at the lines he has to spout, and I can't say as I blame him.

Villain of the Week: Melvin Belli is Gorgan, the force that controls the children and grants them horrifying powers to bend men's minds. This involves appearing in a green shimmer when the children recite a nursery rhyme and then hammily spouting off about "destroying enemies" in a booming voice. Belli is struck impotent in the final scene, when Shatner hams him off the screen and barely has to raise his voice to do it. The remastered version adds extra green shimmer to Gorgon... which actually makes him less effective than in the original version, particularly when his kindly human face dissolves into a monstrosity.


ZAP THE REDSHIRT!

Redshirt count: two. And they're killed by Kirk! Well, on Kirk's orders, as he has two security men beamed down to the planet, without bothering to check the instruments first. Given that the Enterprise has left orbit by this point (unbeknownst to Kirk), what he succeeds in doing is beaming them into outer space.

The count could be argued as being a little bit higher, given that Kirk leaves a security team on the planet. After regaining control of the ship, Kirk decisively sets a course for Starbase 4 - apparently abandoning his security team (who, remember, he was unable to beam back onto the ship). Nice going, Jimbo. If they ever want another figure from Kirk's past to seek revenge against him, how about having the poor team from this episode resurface? They have a far more legitimate case against our stalwart captain than Khan ever did...


THOUGHTS

The Enterprise continues to have worse security standards than the average tugboat. The children are allowed to wander the ship at will, getting onto the bridge and into Engineering without anyone raising an eyebrow. Similarly, the ship can be directed off course by simply hypnotizing a handful of crewmen, with no computerized alarms set off to even notify Kirk and Spock that a change has occurred. Finally, the transporter has no fail-safes on it to prevent crewmen being beamed into open space. This is the Federation flagship? Better start brushing up on that Klingonese, I guess...

The episode has the germ of an interesting idea. There is something inherently creepy about seeing children taking control of the Enterprise and reducing its crew to automatons. Craig Hundley, as the eldest of the children and their leader, gives a pretty good child performance, standing around the bridge or in the hallways like a pumped-up little general - the sort you desperately want to see slapped down. It actually comes as a surprise to see this brat behaving like a regular kid in the "home video" Kirk shows the children at the end, and the contrast between the smiling child in the video and the sadistic little brat on the bridge brings home that these are misused children.

Unfortunately, the final part of the episode doesn't work at all. Gorgan is a terrible villain. All he does is stand around and shout. Belli, trial attorney turned television actor, does his best to chew some scenery - but it's hard, when you're left to stand in place while dressed in what looks like a cross between a frilly shower curtain and a giant green lampshade!

Kirk snaps the children out of their power trip by showing them a particularly lame home movie of them playing volleyball with their parents. No context is provided. Given that we've repeatedly been told that the children are suppressing what happened to their parents, their enchantment with the video is inexplicable. Surely their attention should wander quickly. Meanwhile Gorgan, rather than placing the blame for the parents' deaths on Kirk (not a tough strategy to think of), immediately starts ranting about how the parents had to be destroyed once the bodies appear on the viewscreen. Maybe the lamest Kirk/supervillain confrontation ever. Yes, lamer than Shirtless Kirk vs. the Multicolored Blobs of Jelly.

Oh, and the reduced budget really shows in the planet scenes at the episode's start. The cheapest-looking planet set in the entire series.


Rating: 3/10. The first Season Three episode that lives down to the season's reputation.

Previous Episode: The Enterprise Incident
Next Episode: Spock's Brain


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3 comments:

  1. That's really amusing. ��I like your analysis of the security measures on board the enterprise.

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  2. And while we're at it, since when does Uhura's station include a mirror?

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  3. People often claim that "Spock's Brain" is the worst TOS episode ever, but to me, THIS one is the worst. "Spock's Brain" has a certain goofy or campy charm that is entirely lacking in this episode.

    I thought the little girl was also noteworthy for good acting; she seemed incredibly bratty when she was supposed to be evil, and I hated her almost as much as Tommy.

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